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Such a Huge Ego

5 Dec

Due to my Thursday night’s escapades I have been thinking about alter egos. You know the one you get when you have had a few too many sips? Party Nicole, sometimes Violet to strangers, can be a diva, a best friend, a total bitch, or worse…a crier.

Here is a list of common alter egos:

The New Best Friend: This may also be referred to as the super needy girl. She is usually an ice queen when she is sober, and ultimately feels the need to make up for her general lack of warmth when she is hammered. Be careful if she comes your way, once you so much as smile at her crazy @ss she will dub you her new bff4L. At some point in the night she might puke, and since you are her new best friend you are obligated to take care of her.

The Soulmate: Watch out boys, this girl is on the prowl. She is feeling extra hungry tonight and you are one prime piece of meat. Don’t be fooled by the sexy eyes she is throwing your way, you will not be spending your night making out in the corner. Instead she will end up telling you all about her ex-boyfriend and how much she still loves him. Then she will cry.

The Bitch: Lock your doors. The bitch has decided that she really wants to make everyone’s night utter hell. She will complain about the beer/liquor choice, change the music and refuse to hide the rude faces she makes at all the other girls (we normally try not to let the girls see, it can get awkward). Surprisingly this girl is normally super nice during the day. This is a great example why it is not normal to be happy all the time. NOBODY IS ALWAYS NICE.

The Diva: Don’t confuse the diva with the bitch. This lady is all sass, but it works. She makes outrageous demands (refusing to share the cab karaoke microphone), but it’s all in good fun. This girl is fashionably late to the party, but always the last to leave. The indention marks on your coffee table are the result of her heels when she decided to dance last night. She won’t remember, so don’t bring it up again.

The Crier: This girl is the normal one, at least for a while, of the party. She is friendly, funny, and helpful to the host. However after she downs that 2nd solo cup of Franzia her eyes begin to tear up and she starts to bawl. You never know exactly what she is crying about because she doesn’t make any sense. Check on her an hour later and she will be completely fine.

Do you have an alter ego? I am most definitely guilty of all of the above..

-Nicole

P.S. Make sure to check out VIM’s Website to read my new beauty post!

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How To Break Up With Class

22 Nov

I fully believe that quitting your job is comparable to breaking it off with a former flame. You never know if it is exactly the right time, it can get a little messy, and you might come crawling back months later after finding out that there really is nothing better out there.

If you want to make sure to get that stellar recommendation from your boss follow these steps to keep it classy.

Speak in Person: Quitting breaking up is hard to do, and while speaking to your employer in person may be uncomfortable it shows that you are professional. Emailing, texting and a phone call is just rude. If you wouldn’t do that to a boyfriend/girlfriend you most certainly shouldn’t do it to your boss. This person pays you!! And if you do/have done break-ups via texting/social media/voicemails; shame on you. Grow up. (Unless it’s long distance, only then is it acceptable.)

Be Honest: If you are too stressed, behind in school, looking for other opportunities etc. tell your boss that! He/she will appreciate your honesty, and be more willing to agree to be a reference. Also these people are bosses for a reason, i.e. they can most likely smell out your bullshit. Don’t lie!

Give a 2 Weeks Notice: These last couple of weeks I have been more than stressed with multiple projects, blogging, working and of course Christmas shopping (duh), but I didn’t let of that get in the way of my work duties. I think it is unfair to quit a job without giving any notice because a.) You screw over your employer b.) You look like an a-hole and c.) Your co-workers now have to cover the shifts that you unexpectantly laid on them.

RUDE.

Speak with your boss and agree upon the last day of your two weeks. From there on out you should be working as if you never quit. You made a committment by accepting this job, and your boss put his/her time into training you, so the least you can do it give them adequate time in finding a new employee.

Be Thankful: Even if you are moving on you should remember everything that this job has given you. Without it you might not be able to online shop or pay your rent; reality check. Thank your employer for all the opportunites that have been made available to you through the time you had spent there.

When all else fails; cry. I have met very few people that do not buckle under the sight of tears. If it got me out of 3 tickets, it can surely work for everything else….right?

Disclaimer: I will admit that one time I did not adhere to my own rules. After a horrible, awful, terrible job experience in which I was mainly “learning how to become a great housewife” (his words not mine, and I have nothing against housewives!), and after being called “baby” one too many times I picked up the phone and did some damage. I left a voicemail the day before I was supposed to work, did not give a two weeks notice, and told him my reason for quitting was because my parents “made me”. Oops. Lesson learned.

Do you have any work “break-up” stories?

-Nicole

Cozy In Corduroy

2 Nov

See what I just did there? Alliteration.

Actually the title of this post should really be Spazzing College Undergrad Running on Less Than 5 Hours of Sleep with Massive Amounts of Work to do and Had Nothing To Wear But Her Dad’s Shirt.

P.S. She Was Forced To Dry Shampoo Her Hair Because Time Was A-Wasting’ And Showers Are For the Weak

Somehow that just didn’t have the same ring. Anyway, as I was contemplating dropping out of school and changing my name to Candy, I realized that I had less than ten minutes to get ready and look semi-functional for work. I ran out the door in my dad’s oversized button-up (Are you noticing a trend here? Pilfering items from my parent’s closets?) and a pair of leggings that may have been last washed years ago, (who really know’s at this point) and hoped to God nobody recognized me. To my surprise, I was complimented on my outfit…not just once, but a couple of times. WEIRD.

So for you pleasure I’ve posted this little gem:

Photo Credit: Jamie Kawwas

Corduroy Button-up: Father’s, Leggings: The Loft

Belt: H&M, Boots: Steve Madden via DSW

My face is covered for obvious reasons (i.e. bloodshot eyes, glasses, and a face needing to be badly washed…oops).

All self-deprecating jokes aside, if I could just make it until Friday that would be great. Between a 15 page paper, building a working webpage, an exam, and a huge project I am burnt out. The thought of going out this weekend doesn’t even excite me. I would much rather lay in bed and watch bad reality T.V.

What is stressing you out this week?

-Nicole

10 Movies You Should Never Watch Alone

24 Oct

I love scary movies. It’s weird because I hate walking through haunted mazes/ houses/woods etc. but one of my favorite things to do is curl up on the couch (feet tucked in so that a monster can’t grab my ankles and pull me under) and watch movie after movie. I am one of those people who squints and cover my ears whenever I feel like something bad is about to happen. Max hates scary movies, but sometimes he gives when I continuously whine.

Here are the movies that have scarred me the most and I still cannot watch alone to this day.

10. Poltergeist. First movie that gave me nightmares. I am still afraid when the t.v. turns to static. Horrifying.

They're here.

Source

9. Paranormal Activity 1-3.  I did not even have to watch this entire movie to be completely petrified. The 30 second commercials were enough for me. “The last fifteen minutes will change your life.” I’m sure it will; probably the first time I successfully poop my pants over the age of five. Life changed..no thanks.

8. The Ring. Dead girl crawls out of a well, no need to elaborate.

Source

7. Dead Silence. First horror movie I watched with Max. He is a pretty manly guy, and even he squealed like a fourteen year old girl. Dummies that talk/kill people= wetting yourself. This movie is a much scarier version of R.L. Stine’s Night of the Living Dummy.

Source

6. Pet Sematary. Most horrifying Stephen King book in movie form. Child dies, child comes back to life via ancient native burial ground, child tries to kill parents and finally successfully kills mom. I have never been more afraid of a three-year old, until this film.

5. Halloween. I threw this one on the list because it’s a classic. It is definitely more gory than suspenseful, but worth watching.

4. Night of the Living Dead (1968 version). My mom forced me to watch this, and I thought I was in the clear because it was filmed in black and white. How could that be scary? A couple of days after watching my mom stopped the car as we were driving down my 1/4 mile driveway in the dead of night and rolled down my window. “They are coming to get you Nicole.” I screamed, started to cry and hurl myself away from the window. She laughed and then continued driving. I was sixteen.

"They're coming to get you Barbra."

Source

3. The Exorcist. Again this one doesn’t need much elaboration. That poor girl’s face looked horrendous, and I’m sure all she needed was some quality moisturizer. I refuse to post a picture because she is terrifying. Go Google it yourself if you’re that curious.

2. Signs. This movie scared me beyond belief because it was so believable. I still cannot watch the scene where the alien shoots his hand out from beneath the door. Will not live next to a corn field…EVER.

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street. This movie not only scares you while watching, but also makes you terrified to fall asleep. This man was the source of all my childhood nightmares, which ultimately is my fault because I continued to watch things that scarred me.

Don't worry, I won't.

Source

What is your favorite scary movie?

-Nicole

Halloweenie

19 Oct

We have already established that I am super great at being “That Girl“. However, did you know “That Girl” comes in so many more forms other than “That Drunk Girl”. There is also…

“That Crying Girl”

“That Crazy Girl”

“That Obnoxious Girl”

“That Desperate Girl”

and my personal favorite “That Skanky Girl”

Skanky Girl is the winner because at one point or another we have all been “That Girl”. We make fun or her, and get pissed when she makes our with our boyfriends, yet every year we rip off our pretty oxfords and conservative sweaters to slip on fishnets and bustiers. Why? Because it’s Halloween! Duhhh.

"I'm a mouse...duh."

Source

Past Costumes:

Freshmen Year (2009): I was a flapper; at least that was my intention. I am sort of sporting an indian shirt dress that I bought (wayyy overpriced), thinking I could wear it again. I HAVE NOT worn it since…where could I wear it anyway? Whoops.

Fishnets made an appearance.

Max is supposed to be from the 20's. This is what he came up with, not that mine was much better..

Sophomore Year (2010): I went all out last year, and by that I mean spending insane amounts of money I didn’t have just so I could look trashy. GO COLLEGE.

Night 1: Katy Perry via Teenage Dream. Yes that is a hot pink wig, and yes I am totally wearing lollipops on on my leotard. In my defense I really wanted to give Katy Perry justice with this costume I thought I was awesome. I will not be posting the bottom half of the outfit because I decided to complete this look with sparkle hot pants. Momma is so proud.

Borrowed those blue shoes...they made the outfit.


Night 2: In order to follow the crowd I, along with every other girl who has a boyfriend, made Max “coordinate” his costume with mine. Instead of dressing as something funny such as K. Fed & Brit Brit, I chose to go down the cutesy route and depict Sandy & Danny. This night I was significantly more modest, and wasn’t nearly as freezing. Side note: I attempted to curl my hair like Sandy…this was the final product. Not at all similar.

We Stayed Out Till' 10 o'clock

Fail.

Source

Night Three: The last night of Halloween all of my friends and I decided it would be hilarious to be “party animals”. We each picked our animal, attempted to somehow replicate that look with clothes, and lastly placed a shot glass necklace around our necks. Get it? Animals that like to party..haha. Everyone else pulled of their animals perfectly, except for moi. I was a flamingo, and while I thought my outfit was spot on; no one at ANY party could guess what I was. It was pretty clear right? Feathers in my hair, wearing all pink, feather boa around my wast, tan heels (for the feet), and gold eyeshadow painted nose (the beak..duh.) I was mistaken for a drag queen plenty of times, but never once a flamingo. However I took that as a compliment; drag queens are hot.

What were you dress as last year? And..do you think I look like a flamingo?

-Nicole

Quarter Life Crisis

27 Sep

Lately I have been feeling out of it. I am not exactly happy, but I’m not super sad. Stressing out about school, work, and maintaining real life relationships with family/friends instead of resorting to Facebook “poking” has taken its toll. I can safely say that I have been a crazy person for the last month…I’m not that fun, my makeup bag might be collecting dust, and I am pretty sure I wear the same 2 pairs of leggings every day. Oops. I think I am having a quarter life crisis.

Here’s what I am doing to get over this “hump(s)

Caffeine. It’s delicious and keeps me pretty jittery, which gives me the false impression that I am not in a shitastic mood. Added bonus, the pumpkin spice latte is back in business which means not only and I getting a shot of espresso goodness, but also fulfilling a weeks worth of sugar intake. Another bonus, it gives me something to do with my mouth..that way every time someone I don’t feel like talking to comes walking by, I can pretend that I am super into my coffee.

Can't talk...go away.

Source

Crying. There is absolutely no shame in crying. I’ve watched lots of old episodes of Grey’s, the ones with Denny, and hysterically cried alone in my room. That may sound depressing it is, but if I didn’t cry out all my tears somehow I could have burst at a more inappropriate time, such as class or during a sorority meeting…and no one wants to see that. I am a very ugly crier lots of snot bubbles and shoulder heaving.

Friends. These people are obligated to make you laugh, bring you chocolate, and get you drunk. So you’re having an awful day? Drink up. God invented tailgate for a reason, and that reason is to give you a break when the work load for class becomes unbearable. So even when you can’t seem to drag your butt out of bed for that 7am wake-up party call, your friends will be there to make sure you have a good time.

Not caring. If hanging out with friends, crying and a caffeine high don’t do the trick, just wave a white flag and surrender. The work load will eventually become easier and everything will be fine. Choose sleep over 3am studying, and eat lots of cheese. That always makes me feel better.

 

Have you ever had a quarter life crisis? Do you even think it exists?

-Nicole

Sucks To Suck

14 Sep

You will annoy/be annoyed by others in class and you most likely will creep out/be creeped out by your peers. This is a natural part of college. You will inevitably do something that sucks, and let’s face it…it just sucks to suck. There is just nothing you can do about it.

Here are some tips to help you suck less, let it be known that this is no guarantee…

  • Facebook stalking in class. This may seem completely harmless when you are in a 300+ lecture hall, but it can be deadly. One minute you’re creeping on your hot lab partner, and the next thing you know StalkBook shows that you have one new notification. What could it be?! It’s Hot Boy, and he just wants you to know how flattered he is that you seem to love all his pictures. Yes, he is sitting behind you. Yes you should drop the class, and yes you should most definitely find another piece of meat to drool over…because that one is never happening.

I'm lucky this guy didn't block me from Facebook.

  • Wearing the same outfit two days in a row. I get it, you are lazy, running on 5 hours of sleep and you honestly could care less about looking presentable for class, but do not under any circumstances be that girl. I am all for outfit repeating, but wearing the EXACT SAME THING is just gross. Also, it becomes super awkward when you realize that the girl sitting next to you today was the same Bia you sat in front of yesterday. She definitely knows you wore those yoga pants and that sweatshirt yesterday..and you hair hasn’t moved from that messy pony-tail. Next time throw on a different sweatshirt…or just flip the girl off, totally up to you.
  • The one that asks all the questions. I absolutely disagree every year when my professor says these five little words, “There are no dumb questions.” There are most definitely dumb questions, and if you think that isn’t true than you are probably the one asking them. Don’t be that person who asks when the next paper is due/the date for the next exam and please please please do not ask about the grading policy. GO LOOK ON THE SYLLABUS! If you have a genuine question regarding the material than for sure raise your hand, but please don’t interrupt the Profs interesting lecture on the water cycle to ask whether your paper has to be 3 or 4 pages. Nobody likes that person.
  • Not showing for group project meetings. What do you mean you can’t come to the meeting again? Your assigned part isn’t written up? You need more time? BOOO. You can kiss that A for effort goodbye because I am personally writing nasty remarks and quite possibly dirty things in your part of the group evaluation. Aww, you really need this 4.0 to pass the class? Sucks to suck. Show up buddy.

Ha. No I will not "help you out" and give you a good grade..sorrryy.

Do you have any more suggestions to make college suck less??

-Nicole

Lesson Learned: It’s Okay to Say No

26 Aug

I would generally categorize myself as a people pleaser. I don’t like disappointing co-workers, friends, family, a stranger..you name it. Sometimes saying no is not only necessary, but required for your mental health.

Instances where you might consider saying aawhh hHelll noo.

  1. Borrowing new shoes/clothes. By all means you can raid my closet, but don’t you dare wear my spanking new digs. At least if I ruin it I wore it first; if you ruin it I can only blame myself for being stupid enough to hand my stuff over.

    In a perfect world these would be mine.

    Source

  2. You don’t feel like going out. We all have those days. All your outfits make you look like a beached whale, the thought of putting on mascara makes your brain hurt, and the mere smell of hand sanitizer makes you gag. These are all signs that maybe you should trade the Lime Burnetts for your bed and some quality time with Gossip Girl.
  3. 4th meal. Okay so you went out.. that’s great, but for the love of a huge @ss put down that spicy burrito. You just drank your weight in cheap booze, do you really think your body will appreciate a vicious attack of hot sauce, cheese and questionable meat? Of course, sometimes 4th meal is everything you could ever want and need, but use it sparingly. Your @ss will thank you later.
  4. “Sharing” Homework. Exchanging answers is one thing, but being used is another. College is time-consuming enough without me emailing you the work, responding to your texts and picking up your calls that I   am trying so hard to ignore. So don’t be that A-hole that can’t do your own homework, and I won’t be that A-hole that has to figure out a nice way to say that you suck.
What makes you say no?
-Nicole

Lesson Learned: It’s Okay to Change Your Major

30 Jul

The time has come yet again, where college freshmen dream of the future (parties, no parents, no curfew ..GASP!). They quickly learn 8 ams are a bad choice, Friday classes are optional, and that boy across the hall that said they were “special” lied. Eventually, the day comes when the freshmen decide to choose a major. This post is here solely to support their future indecisiveness, career confusion, and anxiety. LET IT BE KNOWN..it’s okay to change your major.

I should know, because I’ve been there…twice. It’s fine.

1.) Pre-med major. That was until I figured out that a.) I wouldn’t look good in scrubs. b.) McDreamy & McSteamy don’t exist in real life, and I am obviously no Katherine Heigl. c.) I remembered that I hate chemistry and nearly failed it.

Fast forward to…

2.) Pre-law. Because if medicine isn’t right for you law certainly is. I joined pre-law society, and even won a free LSAT prep course. Call me Elle Woods. This was all peaches and cream until I took my first class related to law and hated every minute of it. I realized that I liked the idea of law but not what it necessarily entailed.

At this time, my little brain was trying really hard to figure out what I should major in. Lightbulb…

3.) Professional Writing. This may seem like a much less practical degree and that’s because it is. It’s hard to make it in writing because success/failure depends entirely on your audience. The way I look at it is, even if I am not successful I can’t say that I didn’t try.

In conclusion…

Tips on Choosing Your Major 

  • Make sure you take general classes first. That way if you decide to go in a different direction you haven’t wasted time/money.
  • Don’t pick a major just because your parents think it would be a good fit for you. Make sure YOU think it will be a good fit.
  • Become involved in clubs and activities that center around the major you are looking into.
  • Be excited about whatever you choose. This sounds easy but it took me two years to realize that I should suck it up and write because that is the only thing that truly made me happy.
  • Pick something that you are good at. Sure… you have always wanted to be a dancer, but just because mom said you were great doesn’t mean the rest of the world thinks so.
  • Lastly, screw it. Even if your major epiphany happens 3 years into college, roll with it. In the long run you will be happier because a.) you will graduate with a degree you love and b.) you will have a couple extra years of being irresponsible and drinking beer for breakfast.
Did you change your major? How many times??
-Nicole

98 Degrees

21 Jul

Yesterday’s art fair excursion began with a 6am wake up call. Why? Because the art fair gods rain down on poor college students each summer and put on the most glorious sale of all time. The Urban Outfitters sale. I have always loved Urban, however my bank account doesn’t. Sorry I don’t want to pay $30 for a t-shirt that I will inevitably spill dinner on. Not only are all the items outside marked down,  but then you take 50% off the sale price. Obviously, I was that really annoying girl who went through EVERY SINGLE ITEM. I didn’t skip over 1 rack because I got anxiety that I would miss something really great. Also, it is essential that you get there early in the morning or else it’s one giant mosh-pit of people under a 20×20 tent, complete with the longest line imaginable. Pair that with suffocating heat and the sweaty bodies of people who rub up on you whilst digging for treasures, and you’ve got yourself the makings for a terrible day and possibly a disease.

Picked up this shirt for Max-girlfriend brownie points.

What I bought (which I am not going to show until I actually wear them): 4 dresses (that don’t show my butt!), 1 romper, 1 skirt, 1 shirt, 1 shirt for Max, & 1 bracelet (total of 8 items)

What I paid (with tax): $79.46

Full Retail Value without sale (with tax): $453.68

Total Savings: $374.22

I was pretty proud of myself for my goddess-like savings, however one of my friends completely beat me with a full retail value of $1,000 and bill of only $195. She bought at least 4 shirts for 5 cents each. Bravo Katie! So, if you are like me and have nothing to do but work and make your boyfriend hang out with you on your every whim, go down to the Ann Arbor art fair (in the morning) and shop. Pitaya, Possh, and lots of other stores are also having sales, but none as great as Urban. Tomorrow is the last day!

P.S. Hey Margee and Nancy! It as good seeing you =)

Heaven

Max and I have never actually been through the art fair, so we decided to check it out. It was HOT. Within minutes I was a giant cranky biatch; I needed food and air conditioning. I know I’m becoming more psycho than normal when I start making rude remarks to strangers; “Oh, thanks so much for walking in front of me.” “Awesome, I love walking slow..” Thankfully, Max knows by now how to calm the beast; so he made me eat.

Look I'm happy again!

Done with work for the week!! Here’s a throwback song, inspiration the heat…98 Degrees

-Nicole